to those BORN with severe-profound hearing loss

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suzanne

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I have a son who is 6 months old born with severe-profound hearing loss
(Left)80db-(right)90db. he was aided at about 7 weeks old. we see some response from him loud noises of course soft noises only if its quiet and your close to him. Noisy/loud enviorments no way can he hear anything but noise. I have some experience with hearing aids my daughter is also deaf her loss is not as bad and benefits from her aids.


Anyone that was BORN with this kind of loss- Adult,teen or a parent who has a child with this loss that wears HEARING AIDS not a CI. any advice info will be helpful. Tell me your story. As in story I mean what can you hear ? How is your speech? Do you go to public or deaf school? Any other info you have that you think would be helpful to me would be nice. we sign ALOT aswell and thinking of an at home FM for when he starts walking/crawling. we see a SLP already and trying Auditory Verbel Therapy. I am determined to do what I can to help my son develop speech, listening skills with the hearing that he has if that is possible. Thank you to anyone who responds anything will be helpful.
 
Hi Suzanne,

Good thread!

As I mentioned in the other thread, I'm in my 40's now. I was born with severe/profound loss. I was diagnosed at 15 months. I've worn HAs all my life. After diagnosis I went to a deaf preschool where I learned ASL, English, and speech. I was mainstreamed starting with 3rd grade through high school. I used an FM system at school only. Home was ASL or English (spoken). I had speech therapy; everyone says my speech is hardly any different than anyone else (hearing). Over the years my loss progressed to 115 db where it is today. I still wear HAs and still love it. I still hear my family speaking, dogs, cats playing, etc. The only reason I considered a CI years ago was that I was told by others that it would change the way I understand people, but my CI audi steered me straight on that. So I have always stuck with my HAs. I know you're concerned about your son, and if he is getting any benefit out of his HAs, that's a very good starting point. He will pick up on sounds and language as time progresses. Most of us on this board with HAs are evidence of that.
 
Born with severe loss. Public schools in a special program, two years home schooled, mainstream from sixth grade through high school. My parents worked with me a lot on speech. Right now my speech isn't great, but that is due to huge damage to the cranial nerves sustained from illness. I really know that I don't hear a lot of consonants in speech, but that is theoretical as I have always heard this way. I don't feel that I have missed out on too much in my life.
 
If you a search in this forum you will find quite a few threads discussing this topic.
 
Bottesini said:
Born with severe loss. Public schools in a special program, two years home schooled, mainstream from sixth grade through high school. My parents worked with me a lot on speech. Right now my speech isn't great, but that is due to huge damage to the cranial nerves sustained from illness. I really know that I don't hear a lot of consonants in speech, but that is theoretical as I have always heard this way. I don't feel that I have missed out on too much in my life.
Click to expand...

I was born with a severe loss too and I miss out a lot in school because I was put in the reject class after I had stayed back in first grade then failed 5th grade then was send to a reject class and given school work that was way belong my grade so I could not help but pass it. Then send to a reject class in JR. High for 2 years. I was 20 yo by the time I did finish school. My dad gave me speech lessons too. He was born in Russia and they had no 'Th' in their alphabet. Dad caught me to count to three, by say . "One, Two Tree!" To this day I had trouble using the 'Th' sound. I missed a lot because I was 7 yo I got my first HA. People think I have an accent which I think is really stupid of people.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I was born with a severe loss too and I miss out a lot in school because I was put in the reject class after I had stayed back in first grade then failed 5th grade then was send to a reject class and given school work that was way belong my grade so I could not help but pass it. Then send to a reject class in JR. High for 2 years. I was 20 yo by the time I did finish school. My dad gave me speech lessons too. He was born in Russia and they had no 'Th' in their alphabet. Dad caught me to count to three, by say . "One, Two Tree!" To this day I had trouble using the 'Th' sound. I missed a lot because I was 7 yo I got my first HA. People think I have an accent which I think is really stupid of people.
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I used to have trouble with the "TH" sound but it went away after I got stuck with braces on my teeth lol
 
I am pretty hearing loss cause I have become pro deaf I accept deaf! accept deaf that is why!
 
suzanne said:
Anyone that was BORN with this kind of loss- Adult,teen or a parent who has a child with this loss that wears HEARING AIDS not a CI. any advice info will be helpful. Tell me your story. As in story I mean what can you hear ? How is your speech? Do you go to public or deaf school? Any other info you have that you think would be helpful to me would be nice. we sign ALOT aswell and thinking of an at home FM for when he starts walking/crawling. we see a SLP already and trying Auditory Verbel Therapy. I am determined to do what I can to help my son develop speech, listening skills with the hearing that he has if that is possible. Thank you to anyone who responds anything will be helpful.
Click to expand...

I was born with severe-to-profound and was aided at perhaps 2 or 3 years old. (Apparently typical for people born in the late 70s or so.) I share many stories at my blog here: D/hh Man

I went to public school, in a Hearing Impaired program in grade school. Through junior high and high school I went to a public school and was the only deaf or hard of hearing student in my class. I did not learn sign language (wish I had). I had no contact with or knowledge of the Deaf community then (wish I had). Not sure if a Deaf school would have been necessary. At the very least, I wish I had been around other Deaf students using sign language and growing up with friends I could easily talk to, relate to, and understand.

I had speech therapy in grade school and I've been told by many people that my speech is very good. I am a pretty good lipreader (I was not formally taught lipreading, I'm told I picked it up on my own), but I need to hear a person as well. I hear and lipread together. If I have just one without the other, it becomes very hard to understand someone (other than those whose voices I'm familiar with, such as my parents and close friends). I was told by my college disability counselor that one reason I lipread and understand hearing people well is because of the huge amount of deep reading I did growing up (I grew up in a family that loved to read A LOT of subjects). I'm not sure why this would help, except that perhaps it expands your lipreading vocabulary and helps you anticipate a speaker's sentence structure.

As for hearing, according to my audiogram, I can understand about 20 percent of human speech if it is blasted into my ear at 100 decibels. That's in the highly favorable acoustic environment of a audiologist's testing room. Without hearing aids, I don't hear telephone ringing, beeps, most people talking, unless it is very close to me. (Often times, not even then.) With hearing aids, I can hear a greater range of people talking (but not understand what they are saying most of the time). I will usually hear a telephone ringing in the room I am in, but not usually in the next room. I don't have kids yet, but I imagine I probably would not hear a baby crying without hearing aids, and even then, maybe not from a different room. But I imagine as a parent, I would be hyper-vigilant to any sounds from my child (I would probably start imagining sounds - lol).

I have to look at person in the face when I'm talking with them, to lipread them and hear them. If two people (for example, two hearing friends, a common scenario in high school) are talking about something in front of me, even in a quiet room, I will not be able to follow most of the conversation. I will miss 95% of what they are saying, or what they mean. If the conversational group grows, I will miss all of it. The best way for me to communicate with a hearing person is one-on-one with a person willing to face me directly and willing to repeat himself/herself. Not everyone wants to.

I used an Telex auditory FM trainer in school from K-12. I understand that FM systems are quite a bit different in design these days. There was no sign in my HI grade school classes, in fact it was actively discouraged. I even asked an HI teacher if I was deaf and was told that I was not. (But I really am deaf. I don't know why I was told I wasn't.)

My view is that listening and speech skills are great. The biggest danger to any child who is deaf and hard of hearing is growing up very lonely and living adulthood very lonely. That is a very, very common experience for deaf/hoh people everywhere. It's great that you're using sign language. If it can be used at school and in social situations, and if he can make deaf/hoh friends, that would also be great.

If you have any questions or want more stories, feel free to send a PM anytime.
 
DeafBadger said:
I was born with severe-to-profound and was aided at perhaps 2 or 3 years old. (Apparently typical for people born in the late 70s or so.) I share many stories at my blog here: D/hh Man

I went to public school, in a Hearing Impaired program in grade school. Through junior high and high school I went to a public school and was the only deaf or hard of hearing student in my class. I did not learn sign language (wish I had). I had no contact with or knowledge of the Deaf community then (wish I had). Not sure if a Deaf school would have been necessary. At the very least, I wish I had been around other Deaf students using sign language and growing up with friends I could easily talk to, relate to, and understand.

I had speech therapy in grade school and I've been told by many people that my speech is very good. I am a pretty good lipreader (I was not formally taught lipreading, I'm told I picked it up on my own), but I need to hear a person as well. I hear and lipread together. If I have just one without the other, it becomes very hard to understand someone (other than those whose voices I'm familiar with, such as my parents and close friends). I was told by my college disability counselor that one reason I lipread and understand hearing people well is because of the huge amount of deep reading I did growing up (I grew up in a family that loved to read A LOT of subjects). I'm not sure why this would help, except that perhaps it expands your lipreading vocabulary and helps you anticipate a speaker's sentence structure.

As for hearing, according to my audiogram, I can understand about 20 percent of human speech if it is blasted into my ear at 100 decibels. That's in the highly favorable acoustic environment of a audiologist's testing room. Without hearing aids, I don't hear telephone ringing, beeps, most people talking, unless it is very close to me. (Often times, not even then.) With hearing aids, I can hear a greater range of people talking (but not understand what they are saying most of the time). I will usually hear a telephone ringing in the room I am in, but not usually in the next room. I don't have kids yet, but I imagine I probably would not hear a baby crying without hearing aids, and even then, maybe not from a different room. But I imagine as a parent, I would be hyper-vigilant to any sounds from my child (I would probably start imagining sounds - lol).

I have to look at person in the face when I'm talking with them, to lipread them and hear them. If two people (for example, two hearing friends, a common scenario in high school) are talking about something in front of me, even in a quiet room, I will not be able to follow most of the conversation. I will miss 95% of what they are saying, or what they mean. If the conversational group grows, I will miss all of it. The best way for me to communicate with a hearing person is one-on-one with a person willing to face me directly and willing to repeat himself/herself. Not everyone wants to.

I used an Telex auditory FM trainer in school from K-12. I understand that FM systems are quite a bit different in design these days. There was no sign in my HI grade school classes, in fact it was actively discouraged. I even asked an HI teacher if I was deaf and was told that I was not. (But I really am deaf. I don't know why I was told I wasn't.)

My view is that listening and speech skills are great. The biggest danger to any child who is deaf and hard of hearing is growing up very lonely and living adulthood very lonely. That is a very, very common experience for deaf/hoh people everywhere. It's great that you're using sign language. If it can be used at school and in social situations, and if he can make deaf/hoh friends, that would also be great.

If you have any questions or want more stories, feel free to send a PM anytime.
Click to expand...

how old were you when you got a CI? your story sounds very similiar as my hubby.
 
Frisky Feline said:
how old were you when you got a CI? your story sounds very similiar as my hubby.
Click to expand...

I never got a CI. My audiologist wanted me to get one, but I didn't see a clear benefit from it, since I can listen to music and I think I can get along well enough.
 
DeafBadger said:
I was born with severe-to-profound and was aided at perhaps 2 or 3 years old. (Apparently typical for people born in the late 70s or so.) I share many stories at my blog here: D/hh Man

I went to public school, in a Hearing Impaired program in grade school. Through junior high and high school I went to a public school and was the only deaf or hard of hearing student in my class. I did not learn sign language (wish I had). I had no contact with or knowledge of the Deaf community then (wish I had). Not sure if a Deaf school would have been necessary. At the very least, I wish I had been around other Deaf students using sign language and growing up with friends I could easily talk to, relate to, and understand.

I had speech therapy in grade school and I've been told by many people that my speech is very good. I am a pretty good lipreader (I was not formally taught lipreading, I'm told I picked it up on my own), but I need to hear a person as well. I hear and lipread together. If I have just one without the other, it becomes very hard to understand someone (other than those whose voices I'm familiar with, such as my parents and close friends). I was told by my college disability counselor that one reason I lipread and understand hearing people well is because of the huge amount of deep reading I did growing up (I grew up in a family that loved to read A LOT of subjects). I'm not sure why this would help, except that perhaps it expands your lipreading vocabulary and helps you anticipate a speaker's sentence structure.

As for hearing, according to my audiogram, I can understand about 20 percent of human speech if it is blasted into my ear at 100 decibels. That's in the highly favorable acoustic environment of a audiologist's testing room. Without hearing aids, I don't hear telephone ringing, beeps, most people talking, unless it is very close to me. (Often times, not even then.) With hearing aids, I can hear a greater range of people talking (but not understand what they are saying most of the time). I will usually hear a telephone ringing in the room I am in, but not usually in the next room. I don't have kids yet, but I imagine I probably would not hear a baby crying without hearing aids, and even then, maybe not from a different room. But I imagine as a parent, I would be hyper-vigilant to any sounds from my child (I would probably start imagining sounds - lol).

I have to look at person in the face when I'm talking with them, to lipread them and hear them. If two people (for example, two hearing friends, a common scenario in high school) are talking about something in front of me, even in a quiet room, I will not be able to follow most of the conversation. I will miss 95% of what they are saying, or what they mean. If the conversational group grows, I will miss all of it. The best way for me to communicate with a hearing person is one-on-one with a person willing to face me directly and willing to repeat himself/herself. Not everyone wants to.

I used an Telex auditory FM trainer in school from K-12. I understand that FM systems are quite a bit different in design these days. There was no sign in my HI grade school classes, in fact it was actively discouraged. I even asked an HI teacher if I was deaf and was told that I was not. (But I really am deaf. I don't know why I was told I wasn't.)

My view is that listening and speech skills are great. The biggest danger to any child who is deaf and hard of hearing is growing up very lonely and living adulthood very lonely. That is a very, very common experience for deaf/hoh people everywhere. It's great that you're using sign language. If it can be used at school and in social situations, and if he can make deaf/hoh friends, that would also be great.

If you have any questions or want more stories, feel free to send a PM anytime.
Click to expand...


thank you for your response. ASL is used at home with my daughter even at her hearing loss which is not nearly as bad like her brothers. she still needs ASL. So much easier for her and us even when we are at home. I am wondering now if deaf school would be ideal for my kids. they are all hours away 2 plus hours.....we would have to foreclose our house and rent all over again. selling a house now is not easy. I would love to stick with hearing aids. Maybe he can decide on his own if he wants a CI. I am just not comfortable with doing that if he can hear something with his aids. Do you wish you went to a deaf school? That is where we are right now is deciding move or not move ? Homeschool the kids and stay here with the house.....or foreclose the house move to the city for deaf schooling. We are really good with keeping in touch with others that are deaf/hoh. between events, camps and deaf/hoh friends in general they will never have to ask if they are the only one with aids. But it is hard to keep it going i have to admit. If we move they will be next to deaf/hoh kids all day -everyday. i am thinking moving..
 
suzanne said:
thank you for your response. ASL is used at home with my daughter even at her hearing loss which is not nearly as bad like her brothers. she still needs ASL. So much easier for her and us even when we are at home. I am wondering now if deaf school would be ideal for my kids. they are all hours away 2 plus hours.....we would have to foreclose our house and rent all over again. selling a house now is not easy. I would love to stick with hearing aids. Maybe he can decide on his own if he wants a CI. I am just not comfortable with doing that if he can hear something with his aids. Do you wish you went to a deaf school? That is where we are right now is deciding move or not move ? Homeschool the kids and stay here with the house.....or foreclose the house move to the city for deaf schooling. We are really good with keeping in touch with others that are deaf/hoh. between events, camps and deaf/hoh friends in general they will never have to ask if they are the only one with aids. But it is hard to keep it going i have to admit. If we move they will be next to deaf/hoh kids all day -everyday. i am thinking moving..
Click to expand...

I may not have the most popular position, but I want to say I am very happy I stayed within my own community and did not go to a deaf school.

If you live in a city, and seek it out, there is always a sizable deaf faction, and many places have regional dhh programs, which I feel are vastly preferable.
 
suzanne said:
thank you for your response. ASL is used at home with my daughter even at her hearing loss which is not nearly as bad like her brothers. she still needs ASL. So much easier for her and us even when we are at home. I am wondering now if deaf school would be ideal for my kids. they are all hours away 2 plus hours.....we would have to foreclose our house and rent all over again. selling a house now is not easy. I would love to stick with hearing aids. Maybe he can decide on his own if he wants a CI. I am just not comfortable with doing that if he can hear something with his aids. Do you wish you went to a deaf school?
Click to expand...

That is a very difficult question to answer. Having had no personal experience with deaf schools, I can't say whether I would have liked it or not. Since I started making connections with the local Deaf community in 2011, I have had conversations about deaf schools with some people. Some of them envy the fact that I went to a regular K-12, saying that I "got a better education than they did." A couple people mentioned apparent "problems" at the deaf school, but would not specify what those problems were, like it was some sort of secret.

I don't really understand what they were alluding to. Initially, when I first looked at photos posted on Facebook about their life at the deaf school, they all seemed to have friends, sports and all the rest. A pretty normal student experience. I was kind of wishing I had had that. But then I realized, it wasn't the *place* (the deaf school) that I wanted, it was the openness, the access, the social scene. The fact was that I was in a bubble in the school system, but if there was a proper deaf/hoh program at a regular school, that didn't have to be.

It was kind of odd though, me wishing I had gone to a deaf school, and a couple of them wishing they had gone to a regular school. Maybe it's an example of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but it gets mowed down anyway. ;)

My parents told me that they did not want to send me to a deaf school because they did not want to "break up the family." Moving there would have meant moving to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, because that's where the school was founded in 1890-something. Very poor job prospects and very small town living.

It seems to me that there is nothing inherently wrong with a regular school, provided that there's a program there for deaf/hoh students that doesn't deny them the use of sign language and that allows them to have deaf/hoh friends.

For my own part, being mainstreamed meant that I was in town with my family, close to my grandparents. I had very few hearing friends (actually, only 3. one lived on my block, one was in my church and boy scouts, and the other was a friend of the second one), but I ended up with a couple in high school that I did some things with. Such as Boy Scouts and sport fencing. However, I was also vulnerable to whatever hijinks a hearing person might pull, because I couldn't hear them and was a bit socially naive for my age. (As one would be if they could not over hear the stuff kids say to each other and work out.) I'm probably still socially naive today. I'm constantly blindsided by social stuff in the hearing world. I literally never hear it coming.

Maybe I would have had more hearing friends, if I identified publicly as deaf/hoh. As it was, I was actively discouraged from considering myself that way (I was told I was Hearing Impaired, not Deaf), so I really tried hard to fit in with hearing people, and not let on that I had no idea what was being said or what was going on. I followed other people around a lot. If I didn't follow and discover what was going on by sight, I would have been completely left out. Well, truthfully, I was left out anyway.

I also was not in much of a position to be as choosy about my friends, because dropping a hearing friend meant being that much more lonely. Given the choice of putting up with a "friend's" BS towards oneself, or being lonely, it is tempting to just put up with it. I got into trouble sometimes because of this. That's why I suggest that your kids have the opportunity to being around deaf/hoh friends. It doesn't have to be at a deaf school, if there are some locally.

Being in a hearing school meant that I made connections with hearing students, some of which persist today. Not necessarily as "friends," but as people you keep in touch with. Facebook has been great in finding people who used to be in Boy Scouts, or in my classes. I never hung out with them back in the day, but I learn about what they are doing and stuff. It just seems to add to one's world. The reason I'd say this is of note is because it seems to me that hearing and deaf cultures don't seem to have a lot of cross-pollination. So knowing more people in either community is helpful, I think.

(Edit) In short, I do wish things would have been different for me growing up. But it's really centered around access, communication, social life, etc. Deaf school or a solid deaf/hoh program in a regular school... they may all be great, as long as it delivers. Deafness is something that produces loneliness. That will be one of the biggest problems your children will face, unless there's something in place (a deaf/hoh community) to fill that need.

As for CI or not, I'm not touching that issue with a ten-foot pole. :) There are some deeply divided opinions in the community about that. I have absolutely no experience with CI's and can't say one way or another.

That is where we are right now is deciding move or not move ? Homeschool the kids and stay here with the house.....or foreclose the house move to the city for deaf schooling. We are really good with keeping in touch with others that are deaf/hoh. between events, camps and deaf/hoh friends in general they will never have to ask if they are the only one with aids. But it is hard to keep it going i have to admit. If we move they will be next to deaf/hoh kids all day -everyday. i am thinking moving..
Click to expand...
I'm sure it is very tricky trying to balance all the pros and cons of staying or moving.

I think the key thing is access and a social life. Deliver those two, in any school and home environment, and I'm guessing your kids will probably do okay. Especially with loving parents who are so involved in their lives.

Good luck.

(Edit) All of this is just my opinion based on my experience and personal thought processes. Your mileage may vary. :) I don't have all the answers... I can only try to impart what it's like being deaf, and impress upon you the importance of full access to education and social life. It's all about communication. It's all about preventing the extreme loneliness that many deaf/hoh people deal with. That's what I think.


By the way, I'm also 80db/90db, same as your son.

Good luck. I know it can't be easy figuring this out.
 
Last edited:
DeafBadger,

Excellent, soul-bared posts! I had many of the same experiences as you, except I did a school for the Deaf for one year (my choice.) I do have to say it was the ease of socializing that I craved, but that educationally it was very slow there. I returned to mainstreaming after that and must admit that was the best course of action.

Refreshing to see someone just tell it like it is and not sugar-coat it.
 
:ty:
DeafBadger said:
That is a very difficult question to answer. Having had no personal experience with deaf schools, I can't say whether I would have liked it or not. Since I started making connections with the local Deaf community in 2011, I have had conversations about deaf schools with some people. Some of them envy the fact that I went to a regular K-12, saying that I "got a better education than they did." A couple people mentioned apparent "problems" at the deaf school, but would not specify what those problems were, like it was some sort of secret.

I don't really understand what they were alluding to. Initially, when I first looked at photos posted on Facebook about their life at the deaf school, they all seemed to have friends, sports and all the rest. A pretty normal student experience. I was kind of wishing I had had that. But then I realized, it wasn't the *place* (the deaf school) that I wanted, it was the openness, the access, the social scene. The fact was that I was in a bubble in the school system, but if there was a proper deaf/hoh program at a regular school, that didn't have to be.

It was kind of odd though, me wishing I had gone to a deaf school, and a couple of them wishing they had gone to a regular school. Maybe it's an example of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but it gets mowed down anyway. ;)

My parents told me that they did not want to send me to a deaf school because they did not want to "break up the family." Moving there would have meant moving to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, because that's where the school was founded in 1890-something. Very poor job prospects and very small town living.

It seems to me that there is nothing inherently wrong with a regular school, provided that there's a program there for deaf/hoh students that doesn't deny them the use of sign language and that allows them to have deaf/hoh friends.

For my own part, being mainstreamed meant that I was in town with my family, close to my grandparents. I had very few hearing friends (actually, only 3. one lived on my block, one was in my church and boy scouts, and the other was a friend of the second one), but I ended up with a couple in high school that I did some things with. Such as Boy Scouts and sport fencing. However, I was also vulnerable to whatever hijinks a hearing person might pull, because I couldn't hear them and was a bit socially naive for my age. (As one would be if they could not over hear the stuff kids say to each other and work out.) I'm probably still socially naive today. I'm constantly blindsided by social stuff in the hearing world. I literally never hear it coming.

Maybe I would have had more hearing friends, if I identified publicly as deaf/hoh. As it was, I was actively discouraged from considering myself that way (I was told I was Hearing Impaired, not Deaf), so I really tried hard to fit in with hearing people, and not let on that I had no idea what was being said or what was going on. I followed other people around a lot. If I didn't follow and discover what was going on by sight, I would have been completely left out. Well, truthfully, I was left out anyway.

I also was not in much of a position to be as choosy about my friends, because dropping a hearing friend meant being that much more lonely. Given the choice of putting up with a "friend's" BS towards oneself, or being lonely, it is tempting to just put up with it. I got into trouble sometimes because of this. That's why I suggest that your kids have the opportunity to being around deaf/hoh friends. It doesn't have to be at a deaf school, if there are some locally.

Being in a hearing school meant that I made connections with hearing students, some of which persist today. Not necessarily as "friends," but as people you keep in touch with. Facebook has been great in finding people who used to be in Boy Scouts, or in my classes. I never hung out with them back in the day, but I learn about what they are doing and stuff. It just seems to add to one's world. The reason I'd say this is of note is because it seems to me that hearing and deaf cultures don't seem to have a lot of cross-pollination. So knowing more people in either community is helpful, I think.

(Edit) In short, I do wish things would have been different for me growing up. But it's really centered around access, communication, social life, etc. Deaf school or a solid deaf/hoh program in a regular school... they may all be great, as long as it delivers. Deafness is something that produces loneliness. That will be one of the biggest problems your children will face, unless there's something in place (a deaf/hoh community) to fill that need.

As for CI or not, I'm not touching that issue with a ten-foot pole. :) There are some deeply divided opinions in the community about that. I have absolutely no experience with CI's and can't say one way or another.

I'm sure it is very tricky trying to balance all the pros and cons of staying or moving.

I think the key thing is access and a social life. Deliver those two, in any school and home environment, and I'm guessing your kids will probably do okay. Especially with loving parents who are so involved in their lives.

Good luck.

(Edit) All of this is just my opinion based on my experience and personal thought processes. Your mileage may vary. :) I don't have all the answers... I can only try to impart what it's like being deaf, and impress upon you the importance of full access to education and social life. It's all about communication. It's all about preventing the extreme loneliness that many deaf/hoh people deal with. That's what I think.


By the way, I'm also 80db/90db, same as your son.

Good luck. I know it can't be easy figuring this out.
Click to expand...

thank you :ty: I really am determined these kids are mine for a reason.
 
My 2 cents it boils down to whether how integrated do you want your child into the deaf world vs. the hearing world.

I only went to deaf school for a summer program and I hated it because of how slow things are and how many special considerations there are. For example, I wanted to walk to the 7-11 and buy a coke, no big deal right? Well at the deaf school that required a group effort, EVERYONE had to go at a schedule and EVERYONE had to have an interpreter with them. Buying a coke takes only a few minutes for me but for the deaf people along with their interpreter takes at least 10 minutes.

Fortunately I was raised in a hearing world learning lipreading and even talking so I can do most things that hearing people can. Was it easy? Nope and I have no regrets about it. The problem I see with the joining the deaf culture is that it isolates you from potential great experiences. I remember working at a flea market and there was this deaf guy trying to make a living selling those sign language cards. I felt bad for that guy, all he know is ASL and his options are real limited as far as employment.

You can advocate the deaf world all you want but the reality is we live in a hearing world. IMO you're not doing your child a favor hiding him from the real world. At least enable him to get by and thrive in the hearing world.
 
Any other info you have that you think would be helpful to me would be nice. we sign ALOT aswell and thinking of an at home FM for when he starts walking/crawling. we see a SLP already and trying Auditory Verbel Therapy. I am determined to do what I can to help my son develop speech, listening skills with the hearing that he has if that is possible
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Couple of thoughts........At home FM usage really isn't a "gotta have"
Virtually all of us grew up without at home FM device usage, (including the heavily oral people) and we've done fine.
Second of all, auditory verbal therapy is TOO intense for most people. Your son can learn to speak with just plain old SLP internvention. AVT is pretty much child abuse as it hyperfocuses on sound, sound sound and hearing, hearing hearing, and doesn't even allow a dhh kid to speechread. Also AVT expects parents to raise their kid, like it's an eternal therapy session. Oral skills are awesome......but thehing is, AVT is basicly "gotta make sure your child's learning every single second of every single day. Gotta catch up and function as "normal"
 
I am wondering now if deaf school would be ideal for my kids. they are all hours away 2 plus hours.....we would have to foreclose our house and rent all over again. selling a house now is not easy. I would love to stick with hearing aids. Maybe he can decide on his own if he wants a CI. I am just not comfortable with doing that if he can hear something with his aids. Do you wish you went to a deaf school? That is where we are right now is deciding move or not move ?
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Or as Botte, said maybe there's a local regonal dhh program. Then they could have the best of both worlds! Deaf Schools can and do rock, especially in the "early childhood" grades (preschool-second grade) and there are usually a significent number of academic kids......
Plus, I mean there are always mainstreaming oppertunties in the local schools....and those oppertunties tend to be really good b/c the local schools are experianced with dhh kids.
I think what we're saying is that it's defintily worth it to look into dhh specific education, whether it be deaf school, or dhh program/magnet school.....General special ed tends not to be too experianced with kids like us.
 
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