An Open Thread Dedicated To Shel90

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pek1

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shel90 said:
That happened to two of my brother's friends (a couple) 10 years ago, in fact the 10 year anniversary of their death is next month. Wow!!! Anyway, they were on their way to work, waiting at a red light and the light turned green so they proceeded to cross the intersection . . . unfortunately, a drunk driver going like at 90 mph ran the red light from his side and t-boned them. Yes, the couple was killed not the drunk driver. Happened at around 1 PM on a Friday in AZ. I will never forget the day that I found out about them . . . everyone in the Deaf community was in total shock for a long time. I am sure some ADers here know who I am talking about. I can't believe it will be 10 years in a few weeks. It took my brother a long time to recover cuz they were his childhood friends from the deaf school.
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Friends,

shel90 shared this on another thread and I just wanted to bring this to everyone's attention that if you drink and drive, you cannot afford to do this. If you drink, please, please, please, for your sake, don't drive. If you are driving, please do not drink. You cannot afford to have even one alcoholic beverage in your system. Believe the professionals when they say that even one drink impairs a driver, even if you are a seasoned veteran of drinking and driving. One of these days, your luck will run out. If you make it out alive, the words you will most likely say are, "I'm sorry." I do not believe you are sorry for killing someone you don't know anything about and that you've had it difficult in life and you deserved that drink. I believe you are only sorry for being caught.

shel, in the summer of 1989, I received an official letter in the mail. By the look of it, I said aloud, "Jury Duty!" Bingo! I served on a jury for a drunk driver. Yet, let me tell this story.

The defendent (a man) was stopped at 12:30 in the morning in suburban Seattle (where I was living at the time), by the Washington Highway Patrol. The female trooper smelled alcohol, but found an empty bottle of NyQuil in his car. He was arrested. On the day that the defendent was supposed to be in court, he wasn't, so a bench warrent was issued. All we, the jury, were told, is that he was in the hospital, due to a traffic accident (end of story -- but I will recap this at the end). He made up the time; hence, now I'm one of the jurors.

The defendent was asked to read the entire box (all four sides, plus the top and bottom, including the UPC symbol) of the 12-ox. bottle of NyQuil. How much alcohol, etc. The prosecutor asked the defendent, "How much of this 12 ounce bottle of NyQuil did you drink?" Defendent said, "I don't know." Prosecutor said, "Okay, then shall we presume that you drank the whole bottle of NyQuil?" The defendent said, "Yes."

A couple times, the defendents attorney tried to make the female trooper look bad, by addressing her as "officer" then correcting himself and saying "trooper" (there's a difference -- one works for state, the other for a local jurisdiction). After closing arguments, we were sequestered and deliberated for less than ten minutes. I was the youngest juror, so the others picked me to be jury foreman. When we came out to reder the verdict, we were unanimous with GUILTY. We were dismissed, then the judge pronounced sentence. Guess what he got? An alcohol evaluation. This is no joke! About the car accident? He had been drinking and driving (where did I just mention this?) and totalled out his Porsche 911. One of the other jurors told me about them seeing the judge later and he showed them the pictures of the wreck.

Another item. My 25-year old nephew was arrested the early Saturday morning of Memorial Day weekend for driving with a .22 BAC (Blood Alcohol Concentration). I hadn't seen him for almost two years, but it was the bailbonds that called his grandparents (my parents) home and I intercepted the call. I told my dad, that under no terms are you to bail him out (bail was set for $12,000 and the bond was $1,200). His dad is estranged from the family (his choice), so we have no contact with him.

I told you all this, shel, to say this: I am so very sorry that a ten year memory is coming up in a few weeks. I do not condone a drunk driver and I've never driven drunk. The most amount I've had then driven is one drink and at that, I felt it. None since then.

I hope, the person who killed this couple remembers it and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since. I hope they're in counseling or in prison for as long as it takes. I do NOT want this thread to start talking about Paris (ite) Hilton, as she got off way too easy and she is nothing but a drunken has been.

I'm looking to attend law school in about two years. I'd like to be a criminal and civil rights attorney and I want to work for changes in our U.S. Judicial system.
 
Wow thanks! Yea, when I was typing about it, I just realized right there that the 10 year anniversary is coming up. I paged my brother about it last night but he hasnt replied yet.

I dont know if the driver is still in prison or not. He was like 65 years old when the accident happened so not sure if he is still alive or not.


Thanks for the thread. :ty:
 
Shel,

I am very sorry that whatever happened-happened. Sadly, people who drink and drive do not stop to think of the consequences. They do not stop to think of the innocent lives they are taking. I remember one sentence I heard about for a drunk driving accident where a teenaged girl was killed. The guy was found guilty and during the sentencing phase the girl's mother pleaded with the judge not to send the guy to jail, INSTEAD the mother wanted the judge to sentence him to having to write a check and or money order, everyday at a 1 dollar a day and write it in the girls name that he killed.


I loved that idea because he has to be reminded at least once a day who that girl was and what he did! And the judge agreed to this sentence with alot of other things added on. But the thing of it is. Some of the guys are sent to jail and they go on to lead lives and eventually forget about the person they killed *believe it or not they do*. They make friends of other prisoners in jail, the play cards, work,sleep,eat, and talk. And believe me they dont sit around talking about the poor unfortunate person they killed while drinking and driving. SO it is in my opinion what that mother asked for, was a better sentence.

Shel, if it isnt too hurtful,maybe someday you can share your story with us.

Sadly drunk driving has taken wayyyyyyyyyy too many innocent lives.
 
Bear said:
Shel,

I am very sorry that whatever happened-happened. Sadly, people who drink and drive do not stop to think of the consequences. They do not stop to think of the innocent lives they are taking. I remember one sentence I heard about for a drunk driving accident where a teenaged girl was killed. The guy was found guilty and during the sentencing phase the girl's mother pleaded with the judge not to send the guy to jail, INSTEAD the mother wanted the judge to sentence him to having to write a check and or money order, everyday at a 1 dollar a day and write it in the girls name that he killed.


I loved that idea because he has to be reminded at least once a day who that girl was and what he did! And the judge agreed to this sentence with alot of other things added on. But the thing of it is. Some of the guys are sent to jail and they go on to lead lives and eventually forget about the person they killed *believe it or not they do*. They make friends of other prisoners in jail, the play cards, work,sleep,eat, and talk. And believe me they dont sit around talking about the poor unfortunate person they killed while drinking and driving. SO it is in my opinion what that mother asked for, was a better sentence.

Shel, if it isnt too hurtful,maybe someday you can share your story with us.

Sadly drunk driving has taken wayyyyyyyyyy too many innocent lives.
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Yea, I remember that story and that is such a GREAT idea.

I am not as hurt as before but just really sad and always thinking of them at this time of the year. Always wondering where they would be now..they were 22 and 23 years old when they were killed. That would have made them 32 and 33 years old now..would they have ended up getting married with kids? Those are the kinds of thoughts that I get once in a while about them. I felt so bad for their parents and siblings.

2 years before the couple was killed, I lost a childhood friend to drunk driving, only she was the one who was the drunk driver. She died at 23 years old on Xmas Eve in 1995. She and her boyfriend met up at a bar after work (it was Dec 23rd) and around 1 AM (Dec 24th) the bar closed and they got the bright idea to race each other home. They were both drunk..well, I guess they were driving at high speeds on Camelback Rd (in Phx, AZ) which is a road with a lot of curves. From my understanding, her car approached a sharp curve at a high speed and of course, the car flipped. Nope, my friend wasnt wearing her seat belt so there was no chance for her to survive a major impact like that. Nobody else got hurt or killed probably due to being so late at night. I got the call on Xmas Eve and I was supposed to go to my ex hubby's mother's house for a family gathering...I didnt want to go so I ended up staying home alone (that was before I had kids). In other threads, I have mentioned about my best friend whom I grew up with since we were a year old..actually there was the 3 of us that grew up together. It was the aftermath that was so hard cuz I would start to call her and then realize that I couldnt. That first year was so hard to accept that she was gone. Now, it has been 12 years so I have accepted it but still bummed that she is not around to experience more from life. Oh well. I was angry with her too for a long time for doing a stupid thing like that cuz it wasnt the first time she got into an accident from drinking and driving. I kept thinking "why again?" That part really sucked big time!
 
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In the facts: I have hear/read story from friends, people, news TV and local newspaper. I notice person who is extreme drunk start drive alway end up accident survival. Other person don't make it survival. That is sad. It isn't fair to person who is drunk that alive and well from major accident. Anyone notice that? I bet you are one of them was wondering.
 
TFWFalcon said:
In the facts: I have hear/read story from friends, people, news TV and local newspaper. I notice person who is extreme drunk start drive alway end up accident survival. Other person don't make it survival. That is sad. It isn't fair to person who is drunk that alive and well from major accident. Anyone notice that? I bet you are one of them was wondering.
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I never noticed that but I wouldnt be surprised cuz the drunk driver's bodies are so flexible or loose so when the drunk driver is involved in an impact, their bodies dont usually stiff up resulting in less injuries. I read that somewhere..I will google it..
 
shel90 said:
Yea, I remember that story and that is such a GREAT idea.

I am not as hurt as before but just really sad and always thinking of them at this time of the year. Always wondering where they would be now..they were 22 and 23 years old when they were killed. That would have made them 32 and 33 years old now..would they have ended up getting married with kids? Those are the kinds of thoughts that I get once in a while about them. I felt so bad for their parents and siblings.

2 years before the couple were killed, I lost a childhood friend to drunk driving, only she was the one who was the drunk driver. She died at 23 years old on Xmas Eve in 1995. She and her boyfriend met up at a bar after work (it was Dec 23rd) and around 1 AM (Dec 24th) the bar closed and they got the bright idea to race each other home. They were both drunk..well, I guess they were driving at high speeds on Camelback Rd (in Phx, AZ) which is a road with a lot of curves. From my understanding, her car approached a sharp curve at a high speed and of course, the car flipped. Nope, my friend wasnt wearing her seat belt so there was no chance for her to survive a major impact like that. Nobody else got hurt or killed probably due to being so late at night. I got the call on Xmas Eve and I was supposed to go to my ex hubby's mother's house for a family gathering...I didnt want to go so I ended up staying home alone (that was before I had kids). In other threads, I have mentioned about my best friend whom I grew up with since we were a year old..actually there was the 3 of us that grew up together. It was the aftermath that was so hard cuz I would start to call her and then realize that I couldnt. That first year was so hard to accept that she was gone. Now, it has been 12 years so I have accepted it but still bummed that she is not around to experience more from life. Oh well. I was angry with her too for a long time for doing a stupid thing like that cuz it wasnt the first time she got into an accident from drinking and driving. I kept thinking "why again?" That part really sucked big time!
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Shel,

Im really sorry to hear that not only were those two guys in an accident but also a friend of yours. It is so sad that bar owners are not held more accountable for their actions. Yes the bar owners! They keep serving and serving people knowing they are highly intoxicated. There are laws that they are not supposed to do this and can be sued. But sadly, it is rarely enforced. I believe that when a person arrives to a bar or a friends house that the law should be forcing them to relinquish their car keys to the bar owner upon entering and only returned if they have not drunk at all or the next day. Everyone has to take responsibility cause it is well known that drunk drivers sure wont! I know alot of you would disagree with putting the responsibility on bar owners and friends but if you thought about it and did that then alot less drunk driving accidents would happen.

And bar owners should be held responsible because they keep serving knowing these people are way way drunk and knowing they will get into a car and possibly kill someone. I mean thats like saying oh its ok to *help* someone kill someone. And basically that is what bar owners are doing, all in the name of profit and more sales. We also need to somehow restrict sales of previous drunk drivers. Drunk driving accidents claim way way too many lives per year. And someday if something isnt done, then it could be you, your child, your wife, your parents or a close friend.

Think about that when reading my post and saying no to making others more responsible for those that cant or wont be!
 
The couple's names were Leonardo Maldono and Andrea Quintonis. Everyone called them Leo and Andi ..both graduated from Phoenix Day School for the Deaf in 91 and 92 and they had been a couple for a few years. They were sweet..Leo was from a deaf family while Andi was the only one deaf in her family.

The other girl's name was Melissa Foster..she graduated from Horizon high school in Phx, AZ in 91. She and I met at the oral deaf program when we were toddlers but went to different public schools growing up. We managed to stay in touch all those years and became very close again along with my best friend during high school (when we had cars and more freedom to visit each other !). She was so much fun to be around and so michievous! She had a deaf cousin so she was fluent in sign language cuz of her cousin.

Ironically, Melissa's cousin was best friends with Leo and Andi so her cousin never got over dealing with all these losses. Not only do drunk drivers hurt or kill innocent people but do destroy other people's lives indirectly too!

Think of all the lives u can destroy if u decide to drive while intoxicated. Not worth it!
 
i am sorry shel90 about your brother's friends hugs to you and your brother
your brother is not only to lose his friends to accident
i do lost mine relatives too in the accident

hugs to you again smile
 
I'm sorry to hear about your brother's friends as well. . .that really sucks. *hugs*
 
Shel90,

I am sorry to hear the story of your losing friends bec of a drunk driver. I know how you feel must be hard wondering where they would be today. Hang in there!
 
I'm sorry, Shel90 for losing a friend from the drunk driving accident.

I think we need to toughen up laws for drunk drivers. Once they drink and drive, they should immediatly take away the car and license. I know many drunk drivers don't learn lesson or think twice before going to drive. There have been few indicents that drunk driver crossed the median and had head on collosion with innocent drivers and got killed instantly. That is really scary!
 
I'm really sorry, I've seen what drinking and driving can do.

My cousin and uncle wraped their truck around a tree both of them were ok because of the looseness of his body from the alchohol
 
Sorry for the loss of your friends. My ex brother in law was in the single car accident after he had too much to drink. He hit his truck on the tree and became paralyzed from his legs down. So now he cant walk but still continue to drink. Duhhhh him! I dont like him. He never grow up.
 
Another thing I didn't add because the story was already so long is that on the night the man was stooped, he had gotten off work as a manager at a Best Buy Store at 9:30. He had been having marital difficulties and, on top of all that, he had been fighting illness all that week. Now, pardon me, but aren't the directions on the bottle of NyQuil state that if you are sick for a prolonged time, to consult a doctor?

My sister-in-law's brother, quite a number of years before she married my brother and before they knew each other, had been arrested for drunken driving. If I remember correctly, he hit a woman that was pregnant. I don't recall if the woman died and the baby lived or the woman lived and the baby died. Then, he had the gall to be mad at his mother and sister for not having sympathy for him! He no longer has respect for either of them. Well, for crying out loud, what were they supposed to do? Rally around him and cry crocodile tears because he is the victim . . . the drunken driver?! Even I wouldn't have pity.

Camelback Road in Phoenix is bad. I used to live there and one must always be careful.
 
I too have encountered 2 drunk driving incidents. The first was a friend that was walking to baseball pratice and he was hit while walking on the sidewalk. The guy was never found. It was a hit & run. Worse part was that I blamed myself for the longest time after I found out that he left earlier to catch up with me, as I'm usually the one on that sidewalk around that timeframe. But I decided to get to practice earlier for a game that week. Even though I know it's that driver's fault, but I always felt the burden.

The other was a friend that was drinking & driving. He had his 3 closest friends in the car, and he lost control on the freeway. He was the only one not wearing a seatbelt & he was thrown from the car as it was flipping. If I recall correctly, he said that it flipped about 8 times. Everybody in the car died. He is now paralized from the mid-trunk down. His friends' family would not let him attend their funerals and refused to speak to him after that incident.


Regarding to the observation in that the drunk drivers are usually the one that survives is not really because of their "drunk" body by itself, but rather via simple physics. If you have a moving object and it come in contact with another object, that force will translate into the stationary object. It's like a cue ball hitting the 8 ball. The forces will transfer upon contact, unless the two mass merges which will then share the force. Since most drunk drivers usually has some speed [as they will run through a red light] if they don't have the additional mass (more damaging if they have a SUV/truck hitting a standard car) and their victims usually acquired very little speed. Which is also why drunk drivers have a higher casuality rate if they hit an object with more mass: i.e, they hit a building, tree, ground, semi, etc... In that case it's like trying to push a wall, it displaces an equal amount of force to maintain their mass/position. Which is why if the car flips, the ground pushes all that force upon the car & combine that with the additional centrifugal forces (if they flip) which is probably why the friends died and he did not.

I've learned from his mistakes, as through college there were a lot of parties, but we always took the responsibility seriously as one would always be sober & be the designated driver. And if something would arise, we always had an alternative means via cab, or simply "walk it off" as we called it.
 
shel90 said:
The couple's names were Leonardo Maldono and Andrea Quintonis. Everyone called them Leo and Andi ..both graduated from Phoenix Day School for the Deaf in 91 and 92 and they had been a couple for a few years. They were sweet..Leo was from a deaf family while Andi was the only one deaf in her family.

The other girl's name was Melissa Foster..she graduated from Horizon high school in Phx, AZ in 91. She and I met at the oral deaf program when we were toddlers but went to different public schools growing up. We managed to stay in touch all those years and became very close again along with my best friend during high school (when we had cars and more freedom to visit each other !). She was so much fun to be around and so michievous! She had a deaf cousin so she was fluent in sign language cuz of her cousin.

Ironically, Melissa's cousin was best friends with Leo and Andi so her cousin never got over dealing with all these losses. Not only do drunk drivers hurt or kill innocent people but do destroy other people's lives indirectly too!

Think of all the lives u can destroy if u decide to drive while intoxicated. Not worth it!
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Yes, thanks for reminding me of Leo and Andi. I went to their funeral to honour their deaths when I was 7 months pregnant that time I was 19 years old. I know Leo, but not that much because he was a student in PDSD and I was in ASDB. My friends were grieving so much and were shocking.
It was heartbreaking to see everyone mourned, even Leo's older brother Ivan. He cried so hard because they both were very close.
I remember the story about drunken drove too fast and rammed Leo's small car to the light pole that killed them right away. Andi was in very bad shape because she was sitting on passengar that was where the side hit the pole.
Andi were cremated and Leo was in grave...Geez, I forgot what to call that thing. I got it, then it is a coffin.
They both were buried in Sedona, Arizona.
 
It's awful to lose friends and loved ones due to an accident that was caused by those drunk drivers. I haven't been in one yet but *knocking on the wood* I just hope that won't ever happen at all.

My mother was rear-ended by a drunk driver few years ago. She was on her way to home and just about when she was ready to turn left, the drunk driver rear-ended her van. The aftermath of the accident was not pretty because the van looked like it was an accordion on the driver's side. She ended up having those back pains and a whiplash. I'm just glad that she wasn't killed or anything like that.

My mother's best friend whom I've known all my life was t-boned by a drunk driver in Nashville. I've always felt like she was an aunt to me and love her to death. She was a student at Vanderbilt University during the time when the accident occurred. When she was in the wreck, the paramedics, firefighters and polices were trying their best to save her as much as they could. It turned out that she was paraplegic as a result. Because of that, she had to take 2 years physical therapy and intensive counseling.

I will never forget that night when it happened. My mother and I was at home when it happened and just got a call from her daughter saying she was in a wreck. Of course, we both were concerned and upset. We had to make that 3 hours trip to Nashville to be at the hospital to see her. It was awful. Now it amazes me even more because she did not even let that defer her at all. She went on to be a teacher for children with disabilities. I think it's great because since she is paraplegic herself, that helps a lot for the children to look up to her and to be able to relate to her in many different ways.

I just hate it when drunk drivers are not thinking about how they can affect other people's lives. It's sad, really.

Whoops, I better get going and don't want to be late for work, Heh. I'll be around later on to post some more.
 
Sorry about that.. My good Buddy Rider... Barabara was killed by drunken drive too She was only 17 years old and come on way home from work! :( :sad:
 
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