Per your request, here's my two cents. It is impossible (and should be) to pick one placement over another.
The placement, regardless of where and what, has to be the placement that is appropriate for that one child based on his/her individualized needs. Unfortunately a lot of emotions and 'philosophies' get in the way - and sometimes as a result, the child is not being placed at the most appropriate educational setting for him/her.
What do I mean by individualized needs? There are many factors that must be considered...
1. Social needs of the child. Does the family have an effective way to communicate with the child? Does the child have opportunities to DIRECTLY socialize with peers? Does the child need direct instruction in social skills?
2. Communication needs of the child.
3. Language needs of the child.
4. Emotional needs. Some children cannot bear to be away from the family unit, so the dorm life may not be the best option. On the other hand, some children thrive in dorm settings because it provides structure that for whatever reasons their own homes do not...etc.
5. Educational needs. Does the child need small group setting? Does the child function on grade level? What kind of support does the child have at home (will parents work with them with homework assignments and with enriching their vocabulary).
6. Medical needs.
7. How much hearing loss does the child actually have?
and so on and so forth.
Other factors to consider - location of the school, quality of education of the school, school's philosophy and management, technology and other resources available, etc.
Good discussion! And good points made! I am so glad to have found this message board because we all can share our very unique viewpoints. Deaf adults can share their experiences, hearing adults can learn more about deafness, parents of deaf children can share ideas...sometimes we have a hard time thinking from another's perspective, and this message board helps us see things from very different points of view. As a hearing parent of a deaf daughter, I have learned so much from all of you--thanks for the input!
For years, many "professionals" told me what THEY thought was best for my daughter--I took it all in and made decisions for her based on what I learned from the "professionals"--I mean, I knew NOTHING about deafness before my daughter was diagnosed! So, as a hearing parent new to the world of deafness, I did my best to give my daughter the best resources based on what I learned from the "professionals." Only recently did it even occur to me that MANY of these "professionals" have NEVER been in my position: MOST of them are NOT parents of deaf children! They give lots of advice, but they have never really "been there, done that", know what I mean? Sometimes I scoff at the advice they give--it may sound good on paper, but they truly have NO idea what it is REALLY like for the deaf child or their parents.
Case in point: my daughter would definitely be considered "successful in the mainstream" according to the professionals. However, she is not HAPPY in the mainstream!! The professionals weigh things like grades, educational level, ability to hear/speak in regular schools, etc.--my daughter has "survived" mainstreaming and has "passed" those kinds of standards. BUT--these same professionals just do not seem to understand the social aspects of mainstreaming AT ALL!!!! They seem to think that deaf kids who hear/speak/keep up with their peers are doing fine in the mainstream---they must be completely oblivious to the whole "social structure" in schools, especially middle and high school! Maybe they need to watch a few movies about the labeling and cliquish culture that happens in schools for ALL students--you know: the jocks, the nerds, the outcasts, etc. Adolescence is ALL about labeling each other and putting everyone into "social groups"!! Deaf kids often TRY to "fit in" other groups and "ignore" the fact that they are "deaf"--NOT good for their self-image at all!!!!--no, they should be able to be proud of who they are!! So, whenever there is a deaf student trying to "blend in" in the mainstream, they really aren't "blending in" at all--plus, they are forced to deny who they REALLY are! The fact is: the professionals who "helped" us through the years really just caused us to "deny deafness"--they really encouraged my daughter to just "blend in" and, in essence, "hide her deafness." I didn't understand this at first--my daughter's hearing loss is mostly "severe"--it starts as "moderate" in the low tones, is mostly "severe", and even becomes "profound" in the highest tones--since she wasn't mostly profound and since she hears very well with hearing aids, I didn't see her as "deaf." But now, I am beginning to understand it much better--mostly thanks to my daughter!
As she hit puberty and began the entire process of "finding herself"--"discovering her identity"--"figuring out who she is"--she now identifies herself as "deaf"--she is a young teenager who is discovering her "deaf identity"--I get it now!!! She longs to be part of a group of people who are "like her"! I don't think that the professionals who gave us advice all of these years understand this AT ALL!!
Having said all of that, I still feel that my daughter is a wonderfully adjusted deaf teenager. She seems to be building more and more self-esteem each day. She truly seems to be happy with who she is--she is deaf, she loves to talk, she loves to listen(especially to loud music!), and she is learning to sign. She just wants to be in an environment where there are many other people "just like her"--she wants friends who are "like her" and she wants to date boys that are "like her." Being in a school where she is the only one "like her" just doesn't work--being "alone in the mainstream" is extremely lonely!! The professionals who don't understand that--well, they more than likely do NOT have deaf children who are feeling "lonely in the mainstream"!! I guess it is easy to give advice when you aren't exactly living through the consequences yourself! Anyway--the professionals who know my daughter just do not understand why she wants to "leave the mainstream"--it is hard to put into words, but they seem to think that she is making the wrong decision--they seem to think that SHE is the "ideal student" for mainstreaming--they seem to think that it is somehow "going backwards" to think of leaving the mainstream to go to a deaf school. They are thinking from a very different perspective than my daughter is thinking!!!! They really do not seem to be considering the social aspects at all!!
So, based on the points made in the post I quoted:
1. Social needs--my deaf daughter wants to go to school with lots of other deaf students--she does NOT want to be "the only one" in the mainstream. My daughter and I have WONDERFUL communication with each other--we are very very close! My daughter communicates very well with other family members. My daughter can communicate well with others in the "hearing world"--however, acceptance of her "differences" sometimes gets in the way--she has lots of acquaintances, but not many good friends who truly accept her just as she is. She needs a best friend!
2. Communication needs--my daughter has mastered the English language very well--she speaks well, she hears well, she reads well, she writes well. Now she is trying to learn ASL as a second language.
3. Language needs--see #2
4. Emotional needs--I have to admit that I have probably "babied" my daughter a bit and she isn't quite as mature and responsible as I would like her to be. When I think of her living in a dorm during the week, I have mixed feelings. She is NOT clingy--she is NOT a homebody--she will probably do just fine away from home during the week. I know some kids who would NOT do well away from home(some even hate to be away overnight!)--I think my daughter will be fine in that respect(me, not so much!!). I think that there are definitely some aspects of dorm life that will teach her to be more responsible and independent(when MOM isn't always there to take care of things!). Still, I only see this as an option at this age(14 and up)--any younger and I do not think I could have "let her go"--I still am having a tough time with the idea at this age!!
5. Educational needs--my daughter is definitely benefitting academically from services provided by a teacher of the deaf--I can only imagine how much better she would do if she had SEVERAL teachers of the deaf working with her! Take this one great TOD and multiply her by 5 or 6 per year? Put my daughter in a small classroom of other deaf students like herself without all of the distractions found in the mainstream? Dealing with a whole school that completely understands the needs of deaf students instead of only a few people within a large public school system? Honestly, I can only see GOOD things when looking at it that way! And, when looking at the curriculum and academics at the deaf schools we are considering--MUCH MUCH better than our current public school system!! My daughter will have access to a MUCH better education at the deaf schools we are considering! I compared curriculum, materials, expectations--I truly feel that the deaf schools we are considering are MUCH better schools than the public school system we are currently in!! And they are NOT dealing with overcrowding and other issues that our public schools are dealing with right now. In a deaf school, my daughter will have access to MUCH smaller classrooms, better instructional materials, and other extra things that our public schools can NOT give her. I truly feel that SOME deaf schools(the ones we are considering) are BETTER than many public schools AND many private schools!! Some deaf schools are giving laptop computers to high school students--not happening in our local public schools anytime soon!! And this is just one example of the difference!
6. Medical needs--my daughter doesn't have any special medical needs beyond audiologial needs. Some deaf schools have EXCELLENT audiology departments--I feel that my daughter's audiological needs will be served MUCH better at a deaf school than through our local public school system.
7. Hearing loss--moderate in the low tones, severe in most speech tones, profound in the high tones. Digital hearing aids seem to bring her hearing up to the point that she hears quite well--not perfect, but well enough to hear MOST things in her environment. She really LOVES to hear through hearing aids and doesn't like to be without them. She DOES use lots of visual cues--especially lip reading--but she also gets a LOT out of her residual hearing.
Other: Location of School--we are trying to move our family within a hour or two of a good deaf school(I couldn't stand to be further away than that!!), Quality of Education--I am very impressed with the high quality of education available at our chosen deaf schools, Philosophy and Management--I am impressed with this as well, Technology and Other Resources--excellent!--much better than what is offered in many public schools!!
So--to those professionals out there that seem to think that mainstreaming is ALWAYS best--think again!! Sometimes what is offered at a GOOD deaf school is a MUCH better option than what is offered at a deaf student's local public school. And the socialization factor is a HUGE consideration!! Hmm--I know this isn't REALLY possible, but I almost wish that it was a REQUIREMENT for the professionals who advise parents of deaf children to BE parents of deaf children!! They can advise all they want, but until they have BEEN THERE, they REALLY don't know!!!!! And when they sit back and pronounce "THIS is best" or "THAT is best" but have NEVER been a parent making those decisions--how do they REALLY know?!! Walk a mile in our shoes--AND, to those who ARE deaf and grew up with parents who had to make these decisions for you--just know that it was TOUGH to know what to do!! Especially HEARING parents with NO experience with deafness!! All we know is what the "professionals" tell us! We often seek out others going through the same thing as parents, but this "mainstream and spread everyone out" idea has made it quite difficult to find each other!! I still do not personally know--in real life in real time right now--any other parents going through the same things as I am going through at the moment!! None of my friends of "regular kids" have any idea what I am talking about!! My hope is that, once we get my daughter into a deaf school, that THEN I may be able to get to know some of the other parents. But right now, I feel quite alone as I am going through some very difficult decisions. It isn't easy raising a deaf child, but it sure is full of MANY MANY joys and blessings!! I wouldn't change anything for the world!!
