USA is the second worst place to raise kids

lumbingmi

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Why are Dutch children so happy?
By Kathryn Westcott
BBC News website


Dutch children have been rated the most fortunate children in Europe. Their parents go out of their way to please them, and teachers expect less of them than some of their European counterparts.


Dutch society is very child-centred
The Netherlands has come top of a league table for child well-being across 21 industrialised countries.

The study by the UN children's organisation, Unicef, looked at relative poverty, educational and health standards, sexual behaviour and the children's relationship with friends and parents.

"The Netherlands has always been a very child-centred society," says Paul Vangeert, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Groningen. "In particular, there is a lot of focus on young children."

He says he is not surprised by the report. "On the one hand you have objective indicators in the report like health, income and education. The Netherlands is a very rich country. On the other hand, and perhaps more importantly, are the subjective indicators, young people's own subjective sense of well-being."

CHILD WELL-BEING TABLE
1. Netherlands
2. Sweden
3. Denmark
4. Finland
5. Spain
6. Switzerland
7. Norway
8. Italy
9. Republic of Ireland
10. Belgium
11. Germany
12. Canada
13. Greece
14. Poland
15. Czech Republic
16. France
17. Portugal
18. Austria
19. Hungary
20. United States
21. United Kingdom
Source: Unicef


Key points at-a-glance
Much of this, he says, comes from the relationship that Dutch parents have with their children. And, from the fact that less pressure is put on them at school.

"If you take the percentage of young mothers in the labour force, it's not very high in comparison to comparable countries," Mr Vangeert told the BBC News Website. "There is a strong tendency for mothers to raise children or take a long time off work after children are born."

He says children are used to a "highly protective, highly positive caring environment."

Children rule

One of the strong points of the Dutch family, he says, is that it is very open and communicative. Relations are generally good between parents and children and they can talk about almost anything.

But, he says, the downside is that children almost rule the family.

"It's almost a caricature that children are the ones that decide what happens within the family," says Mr Vangeert. "Their wishes become so strong that parents have to work very hard to give them what they want. Sometimes, there can be a lack of balance between the happiness of the child and that of the parent."


Relations between Dutch parents and their children are generally good
18-year-old Ysbrand, a student in Helmond near Eindhoven, says this picture matched his childhood. He says that his parents spent a lot of time with him when he was younger. His mother stayed at home while his father worked.

But, he said the contrast when you get to 18 can be something of a shock.

"Now I'm left to look after myself," he told the BBC News website. "My parents say that I need to care for myself and to be independent. It's hard. I don't have much money as a student and to go out is expensive. Beer, for example, is very expensive in the Netherlands."

He says that while he has been drinking and smoking for some time, his parents have never really seen it as a big issue.

"They've never liked it," he says. "But they realise that they were young once. They are just waiting for me to give it up in my own time."

HAVE YOUR SAY
The UK and the USA are too commercial and market driven

Kenneth Whyte, Oegstgeest, Netherlands


Send us your comments
The Dutch are famous for their liberal attitudes towards drinks, drugs and sex.

"Because parents are more relaxed, the dynamics of the problems are less severe than in countries where they are seen as more of a serious issue," says Mr Vangeert.

Laura Vos, a 16-year-old schoolgirl from Amsterdam agrees.

"In this country, it's very free, you can do anything you want," she told the BBC's Newsnight programme. "You can smoke at 16, you can buy pot in the store next to the school. You can do what you like and because it's not illegal, it's not that interesting for us to provoke our parents with it."

REPORT CATEGORIES
Material well-being
Family and peer relationships
Health and safety
Behaviour and risks
Own sense of well-being [educational]
Own sense of well-being [subjective]

Unicef report in full (1.5MB)
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Download the reader here
Schoolfriend Michell Klimt told the BBC that she thought that teenagers in other countries had to deal with the type of peer pressure that her friends did not have to even consider.

"I think in England, for example, there is a lot of pressure on teenagers. There is something on MTV called Virgin Diaries. Girls of 16 and 17 worry because they are still virgins. It's like they have to have sex to be cool," she says.

"In Holland, it isn't that important - it doesn't matter to anyone."

Rutt Veenhoven, professor of social conditions for human happiness at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, says he was unsurprised by the report's findings.

"Small affluent countries such as the Netherlands and Denmark are very democratic and very free. There is also a very good education system. People can use that freedom and education to make the right choices," he says.

Selma el Maknouzi, a 16-year-old student from The Hague says young people in the Netherlands have a lot to look forward to.

"I'm very happy with the education here because it's at a very high level," she told the BBC News website. "Everybody has the chance and the opportunity to do whatever he or she wants to do. There are many jobs - everyone can work and there are opportunities to build a good career in later life."

Mr Veenhoven says that the general picture is pretty much in keeping with what he has seen in samples of the adult population. He says that typically in Western Europe countries like the Netherlands and Denmark score particularly well.

"And we know that happy adults raise happy children," he says.

BBC NEWS | Europe | Why are Dutch children so happy?
 
oh wow.. I truely do believe that the US is spoiled rotten... :ugh3: even I live in one. oh well
 
I am not surprised that US came in 2nd last. There is just toooo much pressure on American children these days. Sometimes, people just gotta chill. My husband and I raise our children the liberal way because we dont believe in pressuring them and cause uneccessary stress but at the same time show them where to draw the line as far as discipline is concerned.
 
Yeah I'm not surprise either....Oh well
 
Yeah, well, I say it's our country, good and bad. America, love her or leave her!:fingersx:
 
I'm not saying USA is perfect. No country is. But there is more than one way to look at this report.

...Dutch children have been rated the most fortunate children in Europe.
Consider who did the rating.


Their parents go out of their way to please them, and teachers expect less of them than some of their European counterparts.
Those are good things?


Dutch society is very child-centred
That's not always a good thing.


The study by the UN children's organisation, Unicef, looked at relative poverty, educational and health standards, sexual behaviour and the children's relationship with friends and parents.
Who here really trusts the UN? Raise your hand please. :)


"The Netherlands has always been a very child-centred society," says Paul Vangeert, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Groningen. "In particular, there is a lot of focus on young children."
Depends on the focus. Is it really beneficial for kids to feel that the universe should revolve around them?


One of the strong points of the Dutch family, he says, is that it is very open and communicative. Relations are generally good between parents and children and they can talk about almost anything.

But, he says, the downside is that children almost rule the family.

"It's almost a caricature that children are the ones that decide what happens within the family," says Mr Vangeert. "Their wishes become so strong that parents have to work very hard to give them what they want. Sometimes, there can be a lack of balance between the happiness of the child and that of the parent."
Ah, so all is not perfect in paradise!


But, he said the contrast when you get to 18 can be something of a shock.

"Now I'm left to look after myself," he told the BBC News website. "My parents say that I need to care for myself and to be independent. It's hard. I don't have much money as a student and to go out is expensive. Beer, for example, is very expensive in the Netherlands."
:rofl:


Laura Vos, a 16-year-old schoolgirl from Amsterdam agrees.

"In this country, it's very free, you can do anything you want," she told the BBC's Newsnight programme. "You can smoke at 16, you can buy pot in the store next to the school. You can do what you like and because it's not illegal, it's not that interesting for us to provoke our parents with it."


"Small affluent countries such as the Netherlands and Denmark are very democratic and very free. There is also a very good education system. People can use that freedom and education to make the right choices," he says.
There's the difference. Small countries with homogeneous populations didn't have to struggle with assimilating large groups of poor immigrants (until recently). Small countries have much simpler infrastructures to deal with. They're not considered "super powers" so no one expects them to help other countries when they're invaded (remember WWII?).


Just some points to think about. There's always two (or more) ways to look at survey results.
 
I'm not surpise either...

omg Canada is 12th place!??!
sweet, i'm going to live there :)
 
Yep, parents put too much pressure on kids nowadays... but when kids mess up, the parents blame someone else. :roll:
 
Netherlands? Huh? that country where marijuana and prostitution is legal. Is it the best place for the children to grow up? :confused:

I thought that Sweden, Denmark or Finnland is the number one... :confused:

Well, I´m not surprised about British children´s behavior because I withnessed their low self-esteem behavior in England. The parents often make children angry is label them as stupid, silly, and more negative... I beleive that their social life are not good one. They do not get what they need from their parents is time, love, respect, praise, understanding, discipline, affection, etc. but problem to communicate with overprotective parents, that´s how they are rebel against their overprotective parents. They didn´t know how to say "please" and "thank you". Oh Well...

I know what I am saying because I was raise in England and compare with Germany. I would say that Germans are more children-friendly than UK. To me, there´re anti-children atomopshere, it make children feel unwelcome... In England, the children are not welcome to some pubs, restaurants, weddings, etc... No wonder, that they didn´t know how to show their respect on alcohol, but fighting and abusive behavior.... A lot of children are tyrants against their parents and school and also public...

I remember when I was in England with my family last May 2006... We, my friend & her daughter & my Aunt catched the bus... My 65 years old Aunt was about sit on the bus seat but the teenager is too fast than her and sat before her.. I was like :eek3: but my son offered a seat for my Aunt to sit... I gave a teenager dirty look... My Aunt said that it´s not first time... that teenagers show no respect for elder people... What a sad *sigh*

My Dad & brother look at my boys and said that my both sons are well being behaved and know how act manner way which is total different as my nephew & niece.

That´s why I choose better place to live in Germany for children to raise.
 
lol, I believe that NOONE are perfect in all world! We make all mistake! We are learning bad or good things.
 
Netherlands? Huh? that country where marijuana and prostitution is legal. Is it the best place for the children to grow up? :confused:

I thought that Sweden, Denmark or Finnland is the number one... :confused:

Well, I´m not surprised about British children´s behavior because I withnessed their low self-esteem behavior in England. The parents often make children angry is label them as stupid, silly, and more negative... I beleive that their social life are not good one. They do not get what they need from their parents is time, love, respect, praise, understanding, discipline, affection, etc. but problem to communicate with overprotective parents, that´s how they are rebel against their overprotective parents. They didn´t know how to say "please" and "thank you". Oh Well...

I know what I am saying because I was raise in England and compare with Germany. I would say that Germans are more children-friendly than UK. To me, there´re anti-children atomopshere, it make children feel unwelcome... In England, the children are not welcome to some pubs, restaurants, weddings, etc... No wonder, that they didn´t know how to show their respect on alcohol, but fighting and abusive behavior.... A lot of children are tyrants against their parents and school and also public...

I remember when I was in England with my family last May 2006... We, my friend & her daughter & my Aunt catched the bus... My 65 years old Aunt was about sit on the bus seat but the teenager is too fast than her and sat before her.. I was like :eek3: but my son offered a seat for my Aunt to sit... I gave a teenager dirty look... My Aunt said that it´s not first time... that teenagers show no respect for elder people... What a sad *sigh*

My Dad & brother look at my boys and said that my both sons are well being behaved and know how act manner way which is total different as my nephew & niece.

That´s why I choose better place to live in Germany for children to raise.

Does Germany have laws to protect the rights of deaf people?
 
Does Germany have laws to protect the rights of deaf people?

I'm not sure having laws to protect any groups rights is a good thing -- Think about this: In a sane society people's rights would not be abused and laws against that abuse would not be necessary.

I am glad the US has laws to protect those whose rights are abused; I am shamed those laws are needed. I am further shamed those laws are not always heeded or enforced.

I think a better question might be, "How does Germany treat the rights of deaf people, laws or no laws."
 
Yep, parents put too much pressure on kids nowadays... but when kids mess up, the parents blame someone else. :roll:

But is it the right pressure for the right things? Pressuring a child to get good grades while ignoring the fact the child cannot read, write, or do basic math is a recipe for disaster it seems to me. Yet a child can get good grades in school without accomplishing any of these things.

Any pressure that pushes a kid into a losing position is too much.
 
Well, I´m not surprised about British children´s behavior because I withnessed their low self-esteem behavior in England. The parents often make children angry is label them as stupid, silly, and more negative... I beleive that their social life are not good one. They do not get what they need from their parents is time, love, respect, praise, understanding, discipline, affection, etc. but problem to communicate with overprotective parents, that´s how they are rebel against their overprotective parents. They didn´t know how to say "please" and "thank you". Oh Well...

I know what I am saying because I was raise in England and compare with Germany. I would say that Germans are more children-friendly than UK. To me, there´re anti-children atomopshere, it make children feel unwelcome... In England, the children are not welcome to some pubs, restaurants, weddings, etc... No wonder, that they didn´t know how to show their respect on alcohol, but fighting and abusive behavior.... A lot of children are tyrants against their parents and school and also public...

As someone who grew up in the UK I agree with you....children there are very rude. Remember that TV programme Grange Hill? I do believe it stems from parental neglect and lack of role models.
 
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